Entertain trifles

"Entertain trifles"
I am here once again the floor in my bedroom still wet as well at night and hot as hell during the Day.
Punishment to the bones!
I can see the mice hunting some scraps and cockroaches flying waiting the same of my own food. I´ve ate last night.
i´m 40, sick, I just can walking by myself with my crutches but don´t think you are better than me even when you´re trying continuing ignoring how could you be undesirable if you were like me.
I am here alone, bored. i was working, sitting and listening the typing of my fingers hitting the keyboard? inside that office, complete silence and no one talk to!

I think i was Ok, working there i´ve been just tried of my routine sometimes.
But now adays i don´t know anymore if I still am happy or depressed.
Life´s been hard to me, so competetive, so chaostrophobic, disloyal!
I know I wasn´t so cruel when i was a kid and teenager. Solitude! feeling lonely it was something that i had no control of Deep down inside me.
I´m not blaming anybody else. i´m starting once again numbing myself.
I´m waiting the night rises up to entertain some people on the streets for money while I tell anecdotes and play the guitar for money (the job of my dreams: music and gossip tales)
But when the night is cold i almost pass out in my purgatory; except this, I stay up all through th night, singing to people which i dunno. So that way they can sleep well at once when i share wit them my happiness to be alive.
this is far more than i have dreamed for!
people always asks me when it´s day: 'why do you fell asleep? Why do you lock yourself at home when it´s day?
Whys are you sad in the light of the day?"
I don´t say anything to their curiosity... But i wonder why do i feel good on a city corner singing and playing the guitar for those who still want to smile with my song tales and gossip anecdotes. This time i really feel at my home on the earth planet sharing some love with the people i ain´t even know.
by Denilson