Guilty by my own sins

Guilty by my own sins

I fell again but this time I couldn´t get up
I felt my ankles knees back shivering down
I lost the sense of reality... I got into a grey cloud
That was turning to bright more and more and I felt fullfilled with the maximum joy...
just for few seconds!

I used disagree with them once a while about losing my life for death.
But before I die I´d want to buy back my freedom.
I used to ask questions about my victory here, survival was meant less to me than kill myself
by many ways.
"-You can´t goose these things along." - people used to say to me.
And then my eyes were me, myself and I. I saw and felt through a tube
All the things I did in lifetime I lived and which I didn´t do because I was weak, coward and sometimes didn´t care about´em.

My ego was my god, my religion, my hero that I followed so true
but this time here into this limbo I´d wonder how people would remember about me!
But I really liked to be found that moment..

Sometimes it´s better not knowing anything or anybody
because now I know how it hurts that part of you that you can´t deny; obscure...
And hiding this dark darn awful things depend on how other people and you wouldn´t wish to be found in that huge maze with its mirror´s walls´ alleys.

But now my afflicts are mine and I don´t want be seeing, or missed that much anymore... now the icy silence is grueling!
Suddenly I woke up with a crick in the neck I´d rather be a dead corpse now than to feel all these pains around my body.
But I truly wanted to dwell the house of God. Separated from my preternatural body.

If I´d reach thy kingdom, my Lord!
God demands and sends us mercy. He´s the unique complete merciful because He lives in a peaceful realm.
He once made Himself flesh and prooved the acid rotten taste of being into a argila body; body and bones, hungry and thirsty fighting against death...
He won over the death for us.
But this time I couldn´t break the heaven´s gate.
And They three softly sent me back back to Earth.
Damend is the Earth because of the men!
The only guilties by their own sins.
By Denilson